Other people struggle NOT to give up. Your fight begins at the other end of the spectrum.
You don’t know how to give up.
You have no concept of abdication. There is no room within you to let resignation breathe. Hopelessnes is an anathema to you. It is too late to learn any of them now. You are what you are.
You are the one who doesn’t know how to give up on something that belongs to you. What a joke!
Give up trying to make me give up.
Perhaps that’s the trouble. That you are so horribly… terribly certain of what belongs to you. You are so certain it ought to choke you. But it doesn’t. It only mixes inexorably with every cell in you and raises defiant flags of rank mutiny. And, God help you, the revolt please you! Oh, you are a sad thing indeed!
Or maybe you cant wrap your head around the concept of giving up because it would mean conceding defeat. The word defeat makes you grin, doesn’t it? The mirthless grin which dies between your clenched teeth and never makes it to your eyes? Don’t do defeat too well, do you? Well… you’ll have to learn it now. If it kills you, you’ll have to learn it. It will run in your veins like blood. It will seep into your bones like damp pain. It will rub in your eyes like grit. But you’ll learn it. And you will live with it everyday.
Every. Single. Day.
When we can’t dream any longer we die.
People like you are sort of sick, did you know that? You have this absolutely indestructible hope within you that others find unnerving and scary. Hope is supposed to be this delicate, fragile thing… like a soft, timid bird. It’s supposed to need tender loving care at every single moment. You’re supposed to have to protect it all the time… protect it even from something as harmless as a balmy summer breeze lest it shrivel up and die.
Where on earth do YOU grow your hope that it is so hardy and indestructible? How is it so tough… even though it looks so tenuous? No matter what is thrown at you, your hope scrambles over it and emerges pristine and unsoiled. There really is something wrong with you. No normal human being could be quite so resilient.
There is no failure except in no longer trying.
How come you never break down and scream? Why don’t you too shout ‘Why me God!?’ Don’t you care to know why you are being punished? Or have you figured out that the question is not Why Me? but Why Not Me? I suppose you already know that no one who has ever walked the earth was ever spared soul numbing pain.
But that doesn’t mean you make your peace with it! How… WHY…. did you do it? Don’t you have any self-respect? What have you done to your sense of entitlement? Isn’t it the job of the universe to watch out for you, to devote itself to making sure you are nurtured and pampered? No? Hmmm.
You are abnormal!- a Square Peg!