There was never a time when I wasn’t emotional. I believe the right term for me would be high strung. I offer the term in tight-lipped disdain. One doesn’t mind criticism, but one must never encourage outright abuse.
I am strung pretty high even now. If that statement makes you think I am enjoying rubbing it in, so be it. You aren’t far out, truth be told.
Before you write me off as a kind of teary-eyed basket-case (TEBC) who furtively smuggles in a (large) box of tissues into a movie theater, let me hasten to assure you, I am not THAT kind of emotional. We’re clear here right…? If there is one thing I abhor, it is people getting the wrong end of the stick along with the right end that I am trying to get them to hold. Very exasperating it is, not that you’d know anything about it. 🙁
Why is it that when we talk about someone being emotional, we always- but ALWAYS- mean they are a soppy TEBC…? Why can’t emotional exist without being irrigated by tear ducts…? The other choices aren’t so hot either though. If it is not the kind of emotion that makes you want to hoist your skirts six inches, it is the kind that reminds one of a puma who has had a juicy rabbit snatched from its jaws. Peeved and miffed if you know what I mean.
The third category is the one where you go into a limp dishrag routine at the drop of a hat. Morose, depressed, brooding. Looking for slugs under the rock and bursting into tears when entire colonies are discovered. I remember reading somewhere that these are the kind of people who make a career of finding the blackest side of things. They do it with the passion of a zealot… as if they are going to be nominated for the highest award in the galaxy.
For all the world, they’d have us believe the fourth category doesn’t exist. HA.
TEBC, Miffed Puma and Gloomy Gus aren’t the only renditions of this composition. All of these categories are far to the left, being negative. They take away our will to shape our lives in the vision of our inner splendor. They defeat us even without letting the battle begin. When in the grip of these emotions, we abdicate our right to fight back against the challenges life throws at us. There is no honor in our defeat, we lose the battle by throwing away our weapons. These emotions disempower us.
There is a fourth category. There are emotions which uplift and plant irresistibly compelling visions in our eyes. They provide the fuel that propels us towards those visions. They empower and fill us with so much joy, we never stop to reckon the cost. They stir us to our soul and set us on journeys which are their own reward. They ignite flames in us that burn forever, consuming everything that was small, petty, average. They expand our stature and makes Gods of us.
When one talks of being emotional, why doesn’t one talk of THAT…?
I have always been a highly strung, emotional woman. Once an emotion catches hold of my fancy (which is not easy to catch) it stays caught. Tenacious did you say..? Yes, there is a lot of the bull-dog about the thing. I get busy building castles to house the fancy I caught. I begin moving the mountains so the foundations under the castle are sound. By then I forget what is possible and what is not. My eyes see nothing but my vision. I fall in love with the vision over and over. And the fire burns brighter, consuming me.
Carl Jung says: There can be no transforming of darkness into light, of apathy into movement, without emotion.
We are all ruled by emotions, whether we admit it to ourselves or not. Nothing we do, no decision we take, is not driven by emotion. Our success depends on the nature of the emotions that rule us. Positive emotions propel us forward, negative emotion hold you back. Whether we make fuel or shackles of our emotions is a choice we make.
I am high strung and emotional. These are some emotions that rule me:
1. Passion: Nothing in this world can be accomplished without passion. Passion can turn any challenge into a tremendous opportunity. Passion is unbridled power to move your life forward at a faster tempo than ever before. To paraphrase Benjamin Disraeli, man is only truly great when he acts from his passions. Your passion is the measure of your love for life. It is a tool to demonstrate the quality of your spirit. If the wonderful fact of your existence fills you with gratitude, how can you not be passionate…?
2. Pride: Pride is your unshakable belief in the fact of your own goodness. It is your certainly that your person deserves the best the universe has to offer. Pride is the precursor to a healthy self-image… to self-respect… to a high self-esteem. To be without pride is to announce to the world your own unworthiness. How can you hope for happiness, success or joy if you don’t believe you deserve them…?
3. Love and Warmth: Sometime back, one of the executives called up from a distant unit. She told me that their audit got concluded and that their ranking had improved by 28% and had crossed 90%. I asked her why she felt like calling me when she hadn’t even shared the good news with her boss. She said, “I had to call you first. I knew you would understand what it means to me.” That sentence filled my heart with a wordless gratitude. It is so small… it is so big. All the world covered in that one statement. If you have felt a moment of joy for the incredible experience of your life, how can you not feel love in your heart…?
4. Independence and Freedom: Have you seen a Mel Gibson movie called Freedom..? Do you remember the climax..? Do you remember the the fierce pride of an invincible spirit blazing out of his eyes…? The way he roars Freeeeeeeedoooooooooommmm…!! I can hear that roar as I type these words and it is giving me goose-bumps. The movie dealt with political freedom, yet the concept is the same. Whether it is others who hold you in bondage, or your own limiting beliefs, the effect is the same. What matters is your response to it, your refusal to accept bondage or to bear shackles. Whether the shackles are physical or mental, real or imaginary, it doesn’t matter. If you have granted a single moment of sanction to your life, how can you permit the violation of your spirit…?
5. Determination: All of the above emotions are invaluable, but you must be determined if you’re going to create lasting value in this world. It will dictate how you deal with upsets and challenges, with disappointment and disillusionments. Our willingness to act in spite of fear is the basis of courage. Courage is the foundation from which determination is born. Determination is the wake-up call to the human will. Acting with determination means making a congruent, committed decision where you’ve cut off any other possibility. If you have ever had a a moment of vision for your life, how can you want to settle for anything else…?
I read somewhere that We do what we do to gain a gain or to avoid a pain. Pain and pleasure are the only two motivators in the world. It is for you to decide which emotions will drive these motivators.
When someone pityingly says, “You ARE very high strung, aren’t you..?”
I grin my angelic grin and say, “Sure I am. That’s how I produce the music.”