Support System

      47 Comments on Support System

About seven months ago, I received an invite from fellow blogger Corinne Rodrigues, to join a blogger’s group.

“Oh God, one of those!”, I thought. Then I stopped myself.

My past interaction with Corinne had proved her to be a lady who wouldn’t waste her time with pointless groups which were mushrooming all over Facebook those days- and still are. She would certainly not invite another ‘victim’ to one of those pages. Considerate girl, is our Corinne. Agog, I asked Corinne what this was. I was told:

Group Name: Indiblogeshraris

Eligibility: Woman (feisty- the one of strong opinions and the will to let you have it unabashedly) blogger.

Rule: You don’t self promote in anyway, ever.

There are over 200 women in this vibrant group. This collage was created by Garima and stands as the group's header. Thank you Garima.

There are over 200 women in this vibrant group. This collage was created by Garima and stands as the group’s header. Thank you Garima.

Well, I said to myself, I am certainly eligible. And more than happy to toe the line. Even so, when I clicked my acceptance, I had NO idea what I was getting into.

If you’re a woman, you probably know this. For the rest, here’s the secret thing about women in bulk. Just as men in pack are a unexpected phenomenon, so are women. But NOT in the same way.

Perish all thoughts that women in bulk is the same creature as it is in the solo. In the singular, a woman might be warmly and openly communicative, with oodles of sympathy and loads of fun. In the bulk, the equation changes dramatically. The reason is simple. Women have always been marginalized, criticized, oppressed, ridiculed and censured by women. To open up in a group of women, therefore, becomes almost impossible for even the most courageous amongst us.

We fall silent and uncomfortable, wondering when and from which quarter the axe of judgment will fall upon our unprotected head. Conversation dies and walls come up faster than you can say Jack Sparrow! To be around a women’s group therefore is like attending a permanent funeral of someone cut down in their prime in a particularly grisly manner. Not cheerful, you will agree.

With this expectation and conditioning, I walked into the group. In two hours I was hooked. In two days, after trying to belie the evidence of my own eyes, I had to admit that this group was nothing like I could have imagined.

It has been a heart- opening journey for me. Nothing prepared me for the unconditional support these women give to each other. Many are the hours I have spent drawing courage from what many of them have shared. There is nothing taboo, there is nothing barred. This place is a watering hole for us. It is resplendent with deep pools of serenity and acceptance.

I have giggled like a giddy headed school girl, I have been overwhelmed with pride. I have sobbed after reading of the struggles some of these incredible women have conquered. None of these stories have excited my pity. They have been stories of strength and indomitable spirit. I have felt cleansed, uplifted, inspired and very proud.

I have seen these women challenge themselves. The point of these challenges is never winning- which happens more often than not. The point is the will to challenge. The will to step out of your comfort zone. The will to stretch yourself to see what more you can do. It is very easy to do it here. Because win or lose, you have the whole group rooting for you unconditionally. They openly and lovingly forgive you when you are not able to forgive yourself. I can’t imagine a greater gift one human being can give another.

Today is the first birthday of this group. A month ago, in preparation and in homage to this day’s importance, we set a challenge for ourselves. In exactly one month, we had to do something that we’d never done before. It could be a goal that had been out of reach before. It could be beginning a new project. It could be sticking to a routine never stuck to before.

It was to be a challenge that would move us forward to the next level in our lives. And a month later we were to write a post to tell each other what form our challenge had taken, and how far we had reached.

I am the kind who gets bored easily. To stick to the same thing over and over has always been a challenge. I am not saying I am cured now (:P)… but I know I can defeat it if I choose to. To have reached that place of confidence in the period of 31 days is an amazing bit of magic I had never believed in before. I do now. Boy, do I believe it now!

In the past one month, therefore, I have written 43 blog posts. My goal was 45. Of these, I have published 23 on the blog. The other twenty are ready. Out of the 43, there are seven poems. I am convinced (even now) that I can’t write poems, but I wrote them anyhow. Five of the seven poems are in Hindi. THAT, was really putting myself out there! For me, writing in Hindi is to bare my soul and stand naked in brilliant sunlight allowing each beat of my heart to be heard. Yes, it makes me feel terribly exposed and vulnerable.

I still don’t know how much time it would take me to take the next leap and actually publish them on the blog. Perhaps I may never do it… perhaps I will. But I wrote them, and that matters to me more than anything else.

My daughters and I have also begun creating craft from used fabric. A sample of our work can be seen on the slideshow below.

To do all this work required me to defeat my tendency to lose interest. I now know for sure that I can maintain my focus and keep my nose to the grindstone- when I need to do so. I need no longer be afraid that I have lost my capacity to work. The last one month is proof enough of that. I have regained my love for life. Thank you for teaching me the meaning of Support System Indiblogeshwaris!Thank you for demonstrating unbreakable-ness.

Happy Birthday to us!!

47 thoughts on “Support System

    1. Dagny Post author

      You make me smile big Corinne. Thank you for inviting me. It truly has been wonderful. 😀

      Reply
  1. blogwatig

    Whoa Girl! Now we need to pester you to post those remaining 20. Just gonna alert the girls on this one 😛

    But thank you for such a heartfelt post. Hugs!

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      You won’t have to pester me for them Vinita. I’ll post them all… eventually. All except the hindi poems. 😀

      Hugs back to you.

      Reply
  2. privytrifles

    Wow thats an amazing number of posts!!

    And those pictures of craft are simply FAB 🙂

    Loved loved loved loved them all <3

    Cheers to all of us….

    Reply
  3. Roshnir

    So beautifully written, Dagny! And, you described our group perfectly! You have done a LOT!! That’s amazing discipline for someone who claims to get bored easily! 🙂
    I hope you will post all your drafts including the hindi posts..there must be some way to do that!

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      Thank you Roshni. I don’t know how I can post the Hindi poems. The rest I will post, surely. 🙂

      Reply
  4. Deeps

    That was a beautiful post! Loved the way you described this truly enriching group 🙂

    43 blog posts! WOW!! I would really love to read your Hindi poems, do publish them 🙂

    And the craft work is just lovely too!

    Reply
  5. Jyothi Nair

    Amazing crafts on display! I am glad you found that you can stick to something if you really wanted too. I am learning that too. Please do post the poems. I would love to read. I used to try my hand at poetry in Hindi too. You can find a few of them on my blog. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      Thank you Jyothi. I’ll tell my daughters that you liked their work. They’ll be pleased. 😀
      I’ll surely find your poems. Let me see how long it takes me to have the courage to post my Hindi poems. 🙂

      Thanks for coming by…

      Reply
  6. afshan18

    That made an awesome read dagny !
    Last two months was a hectic blogathon to me too but only when some one pointed gun at my temple. I was part of a couple of challenges but U DID IT WITH NO ONE pressurising u
    KUDOS! keep it up and even to me the hindi poetry is same 🙂 I wrote one till date and had to put lot of effort
    would love to read urs some day ….
    good day

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      The truth is Afshan, I too wanted to take part in the AtoZ challenge. But I didn’t think I could write so many posts, that too on a particular letter. So I decided to break the challenge and first try to post everyday. Now I know I can write everyday. And next year I will surely take part in the AtoZ challenge. I loved the energy of that one. It was fun following you guys. 😀

      Have a lovely day, you too. And thank for coming by. 🙂

      Reply
  7. Jeevan Dutta

    Lucky girl and congratulation for having such a wonderful support system. I was actually wondering, what makes you write at such a pace, one can only imagine. Good for you.

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      Lucky I am indeed Jeevan. As for my pace, this is something I challenged myself to in April. I have honestly surprised myself. 😀

      Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      I am very glad we connected too Ruchira. You’ve added value to my life. I have seen the world through the eye of your camera. Thank you 🙂

      Reply
  8. Farida Rizwan

    43 posts? That is unbelievable considering the standard of your classic writing… May be we would not have connected if not for the Indiblogeshwari’s so I have at least something to thank the group of ladies for 😉 I am glad to know you through the forum. The craft is awesome.

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      Farida, you are very good for my ego. Please visit more often. 😀

      I have much to thank the group for. Apart from bringing me in touch with awesome ladies like you, I’ve learned a lot. My perceptions have changed. I am quicker to forgive myself. I have accepted myself for what I am. I am a lot less scared than I was earlier. For all this and more, I can only thank the group. God bless Corinne for adding me. 🙂

      You liked the craft? Great, my daughters will be pleased. 😀

      Reply
  9. Anonymously Disguised

    Aww one of the best posts about our own little world 🙂 Jeez 43 posts in a month? That is some achievement and I think I need to get a little inspirational hawa from you to open my dying blog 😥

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      You are raising twins at present babes. This time wont come back. Enjoy your time with them. Come to your blog when you feel tired and out of sorts. Being a mother to one infant is difficult enough, twins must be a merry circus!

      Immensely pleased to see you here. Hugsz…

      Reply
  10. Smitha

    45 post! Wow! And crafting too! Double wow! You are amazing! The group is indeed amazing!

    I am off to read the rest of your blog 🙂

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      Smitha 45 posts was my target. But I didn’t get there. Still, 43 isn’t bad either I think. 😀

      I look forward to you reading the rest of my blog. Thank you for dropping by.

      Reply
  11. Sriram

    45 posts. I am flabbergasted but then any group that involves you and Corrine and BlogwatiG is going to be a excellent content generation team. If I did not mention others, its because I do not know them and have not read them but sounds like I got a never ending reading list :).

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      Sriram, everyone took on a different challenge. As far as I know, only I took up the marathon writing as a challenge. No one else has written 45 posts apart from me. In that sense you are saved. But I do have 190 posts on my blog.

      Last night I told my kids the story you told me about Sita’s agni- pareeksha. They have asked me to beg you write all such stories so that they may read them… or have me read to them (which is far for likely, alas). Now you have a total of four readers eagerly awaiting your stories. How about it? Is that motivation enough or shall I whet some more appetites?

      Good to see you here.

      Reply
  12. Suzy

    Oh wow, lovely craft work and 45 posts is impressive. Do post your poems, I look forward to reading them. You described the IBs well. I join into conversations off and on but I do enjoy the threads.

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      Suzy I too don’t join the conversations all the time but I certainly read up on all the threads everyday. It is such a spirit booster to see the spirit in the group.
      I’ll tell my daughters that you liked the craft work. 🙂 Thank you for dropping by 🙂

      Reply
  13. sridevi1974

    Wow Dagny , you know how much I admire you …nah nah its not those awesome blog posts which make me laugh and cry at the same time …or that soulful poetry of yours or that lovely craft which is making me go green with envy at this moment . You are one warm hearted woman who had always been there for me and for all those lovely girls in our group , spurring us , hugging us and gently scolding us when we needed .Looking forward to reading all those twenty more posts (Hindi poetry included ) . Hugs 🙂

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      Sridevi, soulful poetry? Are you sure you’re on the right blog baby? I don’t think I can write even adequate poetry leave alone soulful. But if you admire it, it must be Loooveee!! 😀

      Of all the gutsy gals I’ve met on the group, you are surely in the top echelons. Your courage is exemplary. Your spirit and your humor are very endearing. And there have been times when your words have brought tears to my eyes. I particularly remember you post on why you write. Awesome it was…

      Hugs… so good to see you here. 😀 <3

      Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      Thank you Janaki. The group has given me some wonderful friends like you. I don’t feel lonely anymore. Thank you for the way you have made me a part of you. God bless your warm heart.

      <3

      Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      How lovely to see you here Chatty!

      The biggest challenge for me writing in Hindi is the absolute bankruptcy of metaphors. They simply don’t appear as easily as they do in English. And without my metaphors, I am dead as a door nail. Oops! 😀

      Reply
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