Valid

      12 Comments on Valid

V

A reason (for doing something or not) having a sound basis in logic or fact, is Valid.

Such reasons are well, grounded, justifiable, rational and sustainable. They are eternal and objective. Their impact in the long- range is benign and desirable. You may have a hundred reasons to stop you for doing something; you need just ONE Valid reason to do it.

Those who have a ‘why’, can bear with almost any ‘how’.

~ Viktor E. Frankl

A Valid reason would stand the test of time. It can blast mountains out of your path, throw bridges over chasms, catapult you airily over quagmires.

This reason is untameable like the wind, vast as the ocean, always like the sun. Its pull is like that of the moon to the tides. It just is; an imperative not to be disobeyed. You may ignore it and turn your back to it. You may wish it away because it demands excruciating effort from you. You may pretend it isn’t there but elephants in a room never walk out by themselves. They sit, unmoving and final, until you do something about them.

The inescapable reason is that you possess your own North Star. It will shine, whether you concede its presence or not.

To acknowledge its presence makes you feel emotionally exposed and vulnerable. Your North Star moves you deeply, you can’t deny it. If you were rash enough to allow its existence, it would take over you life. It would  go all the way down to the core of you, grab your heart in its hoary fist and slap it on your sleeve. The thought freezes you in horror! Who wants to live like that!? You don’t!

Truth and authenticity are for a chosen few. Ordinary people like you can’t go chasing rainbows. You have responsibilities to fulfill, duties to perform, family to nurture. You can’t afford to confess to your North Star. Moreover, who is someone else to decide what garb your authenticity should wear?

You are already living a very wholesome, productive, responsible and authentic life- thank you very much! Who are they to tell you otherwise? Oh, and how do you know all the North Star business isn’t pure bunkum? God knows it sounds woozy enough to stink of mental institutions! Pooh!

If you think dealing with issues like worthiness and authenticity and vulnerability are not worthwhile because there are more pressing issues, like the bottom line or attendance or standardized test scores, you are sadly, sadly mistaken. It underpins everything.

~ Brene Brown

To allow a vision to unfurl its vibrant canvass behind your eyelids is to open yourself up to pain. What if you run after your vision and never catch it? What if you catch it one day and it drops from your nervous hands, breaking into a million shards? How will you pick out those shards from behind your tender eyelids? Who wants that kind of pain? It is better to pretend that the alluring, twinkling thing you see in front of you is your North Star.

There is just one fly in the ointment though. By ignoring your North Star, you will have thwarted your soul’s agenda. You will have laid all its careful plans awry. The soul doesn’t take kindly to such interference. It will never let you live in peace. As Ayn Rand said:

Pain is not a Valid reason (for stopping). Nor is fear.

 

Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen. If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.

~ Brené Brown

Soul is about authenticity. Soul is about finding the things in your life that are real and pure.

~ John Legend

12 thoughts on “Valid

  1. Prathima Rao

    I found no valid reason to not read this post Dagny. 🙂
    Most of the times we get confused between reasons and excuses, let alone valid reasons. We find excuses to do / not do something and give them the garb of valid reasons. The question that arises here is, who validates the valid reason?

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      We validate whatever suits our current state of laziness. And we frame the excuses, fold our hands over our stomach and sit pompously, rocking to and fro. If anyone asks us why we are wasting our life, we point to the framed excuses with an air of a martyr and expect sympathy.

      And so life goes. Thanks Prathima! 🙂

      Reply
  2. nabanita

    You know just today my husband and I were deciding on whether I should stay in Germany with him throughout his posting here or go back and join work..Now we came to two valid reasons for both scenarios…We both don’t want me to be sitting at home without work for that makes me feel insufficient and demoralizes me but the other valid reason for staying was that if I leave for home we both will have to stay apart for a year… How do I chose between what is more valid when both are valid..sigh!!

    V for Violated-Random Thoughts Naba

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      Then you must let your intuition decide. It knows your wishes and limitations better than your mind does. 🙂

      Reply
  3. Beloo Mehra

    “If you were rash enough to allow its existence, it would take over you life. It would go all the way down to the core of you, grab your heart in its hoary fist and slap it on your sleeve.” – Powerful words! To be consumed by such quest, such seeking, such voyage….the thought itself can cause ego and all its attendants to start shouting – NO, NEVER! And yet something deep inside says, ever so gently – keep going. No matter what.

    Quite a provocative post today. Lots to ponder upon. Thank you!

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      Beloo, you uplift and encourage with your words. This is one of my least favorite posts of the series. Yet, the passage you’ve picked up from it made me re- read it. It doesn’t sound quite so bad as it did before. You picked up a sentence and it now shines. Thank you. You truly are a very remarkable lady. Bless you!

      Reply
  4. iwrotethose

    A very “valid” post, if I do say so. Especially in light of the conversation that we had earlier. Then again, one person’s valid reason might be another person’s excuse. A very thought provoking post, Dagny 🙂

    Reply

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