Do you know the most effective way of interpreting failure Yet?
How you deal with life’s defeats will shape your future. It is possible that you have had many references to failure in the past. With each new incident, you have acquired a new leg of reference for your table of failure. As you know, the more legs a table has, the steadier it becomes.
There might come a time when you’ll start believing that there is nothing you can do to make things better. You might begin to feel that the effort to change things is pointless; that you’re helpless or worthless; or that no matter what you try, you’ll lose anyway. These beliefs strip you of your personal power and destroy your ability to act. In psychology, this destructive mindset is called learned helplessness.
There is no such thing as helplessness. It’s just another word for giving up.
~ Jefferson Smith
There are three specific patterns of beliefs that cause you to experience Learned Helplessness. These categories are permanence, pervasiveness, and personal.
You believe that your current challenge:
- Is here to stay and so, is Permanent.
- That it invades ALL areas of your life and hence is Pervasive,
- Tat your helplessness in dealing with it proves that there is something wrong with YOU and so the challenge is your Personal failure.
Once you are enmeshed in this downward spiral, it takes enormous effort of will to break down the facade of beliefs which hold up the entire edifice of Learned Helplessness.
Powerlessness is an excruciating pain; it is torture insurmountable.
~ Richelle E. Goodrich
People who reach their North Star or consistently follow it, don’t win through because they have no challenges to deal with. These people merely have a better way of looking at their challenges. They don’t think their challenge is Permanent, Pervasive or Personal. And they understand the power of a three letter word- YET.
When they run up against a roadblock, they break down its illusion of Permanence by including a YET somewhere in their self talk… specially if it contains the word never.
It is an amazingly powerful word, this little one. What it helps you say is: I may not have done it YET, but I will.
The word is an assurance; it is a promise you make to yourself. It affirms your power and reminds you of it. It reiterates your determination to do all you must do to follow your North Star. It warns you not to settle for anything less.
It is the mind that maketh good of ill, that maketh wretch or happy, rich or poor.
~ Edmund Spencer
In one stroke, it breaks down your belief that the challenge is permanent, pervasive or personal. You haven’t done it YET- but you are getting there. Surely and certainly, you are getting to the place where you will have done it; accomplished it; won through it.
Instead of saying: I can never do this! ; try saying: I can’t do this YET!
|Instead of saying:||Try Saying:|
|I’ll never get this right!||I haven’t got it right Yet!|
|I’ll never learn this!||I haven’t learned it Yet!|
|I am lost in the woods!||I am not out of the woods Yet!|
|I’ll never get my presentation done!||I haven’t got my presentation done Yet!|
|I am not disciplined enough!||I am not disciplined enough Yet!|
|Things are simply falling apart!||Things aren’t holding together Yet!|
Holding limiting beliefs is equivalent to systematically ingesting minute doses of arsenic that, over time, build up to a fatal dose. While you don’t die immediately, you start dying emotionally the moment you partake of them. You must avoid them at all costs.
As long as you believe something, your brain operates on automatic pilot, filtering any input from the environment and searching for references to validate your belief, regardless of what it is.
‘Yet’ may not be a part of your vocabulary Yet, but it will be!
Transition and change – guaranteed to cause anxiety. That anxiety shows itself in physical and behavioral ways, but also with thoughts (sometimes really crazy ones). This is the (primitive/automatic) brain’s way of keeping us safe from the danger of change. We end up getting so involved with the feeling and thoughts of anxiety, we get distracted from the “danger”. If we trust the anxiety then our primitive brain has succeeded in “protecting” us from the danger. I suggest not believing, trusting, or taking direction from the anxiety and continue your pursuits forward. Then, you will be amazed at your ability to attract and reveal your true capabilities, your light, your magic.
~ Charles F. Glassman