Continued from: The Traveler’s Gift- Decision Three

The Certain Decision

I Have a Decided Heart.

A wise man once said,”A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Knowing this to be true, I am taking my first step today. For too long my feet have been tentative, shuffling left and right, more backward than forward as my heart gauged the direction of the wind. Criticism, condemnation, and complaint are creatures of the wind. They come and go on the wasted breath of lesser beings and have no power over me. The power to control direction belongs to me. Today I will begin to exercise that power. My course has been charted. My destiny is assured. Decision Four

[‘The wasted breath of lesser beings’… Sometimes I wonder why the concept of calling someone a ‘lesser being’ frightens some people so much. Are they afraid of others being ‘lesser’ or of them being ‘greater’…? My discussions with people over the years has led me to the conclusion that the latter scares them more. Their conception of other people’s ‘size’ is as precise a measurement as that of a thick fog. ‘Other people’ is a monster could be as large as the Everest or as small as a pebble- sometimes it is both together. Their own size is the only constant they have- a constant that is relative, not absolute. Whatever other people’s size might be, they are always ‘lesser’.

There is no reason for this that I could fathom. All I got was this righteous vague-thought-like feeling of trying to be humble which made me curious. Can someone please tell me what the standard ‘humble’ is..? Or is that relative too..? If it is relative, then no matter how low I crawl, there will always be someone who can crawl lower. So… where does this end, if anywhere…? Imagine a world where every one is trying to be humbler than the next person…! Talk about an orgy..! What a repulsive spectacle..!

I truly wonder at the inner world of those who hold such thoughts.

**Yes…! Some people are lesser beings and I have NO hesitation in classing them thus. For it is only then that I can catch myself by my boot-laces and haul myself out of the quagmire of mediocrity and ‘its’ utterly irrelevant and unsolicited opinion…! 😐 **]

I have a decided heart. I am passionate about my vision for the future. I will awaken every morning with an excitement about the new day and its opportunity for growth and change. My thoughts and actions will work in a forward motion, never sliding into the dark forest of doubt or the muddy quicksand of self-pity. I will freely give my vision for the future to others, and as they see the belief in my eyes, they will follow me.

[‘Muddy quicksand of self-pity’…! Aaah…! That one….!!

Have you never met people who are grossly unorganized and whose life is a testimony to the fact that they have no idea what a straight line is…? They seem only to go round in circles and reach nowhere… not even back where they began. Don’t you remember the martyred looks they give you when you ask them what happened to that ‘sure winner’ of a business they began two years ago… the one they wanted you to invest in and said it would make you rich beyond your wildest dreams in six months flat…? Did you ever trip on something right after you kindly asked them about that business of theirs…? You did…? Hmmm… it was them cursing you from the depths of their affronted hearts. The idea of you rubbing salt on their wounds…!

Don’t you know how hard they worked..?  Is it their fault that their father cut off their allowance so they couldn’t use the car anymore…? How does anyone expect them to build their business when they don’t have a car to impress their prospective customers…? Don’t you understand how difficult it is to set up a business….? Do you have ANY idea how depressed they’ve been for three years after that…? They wanted to commit suicide everyday… it is only the thought of their poor mother that prevented them from jumping into the river… after swallowing a whole bottle of sleeping pills downed with a bottle of straight rum… and ending it all. Did you imagine that they had any interest left in life now…? ghoulishly bitter, savage mirthlessness and then making a beeline for the food table and morosely sitting down to systematically annihilate as much food (as quickly) as possible.>

**There..! You get the drift don’t you..? 😐 **]

I will lay my head on my pillow at night happily exhausted, knowing that I have done everything within my power to move the mountains in my path. As I sleep, the same dream that dominates my waking hours will be with me in the dark. Yes, I have a dream. It is a great dream, and I will never apologize for it. Neither will I ever let it go, for if I did, my life would be finished. My hopes, my passions, my vision for the future is my very existence. A person without a dream never had a dream come true.

I have a decided heart. I will not wait.

[Oh yes..! I have a dream alright…! And a mighty dream it is too..! It is a dream where mighty men have sinews of steel and stalwart women have the patience of a saint. I live with that dream day and night… I breathe it… it runs in my veins like blood. Its vision fires my imagination on all 24 cylinders together. The dream will bring me immense wealth and fame. I will use the wealth to give my family the kind of life they cannot have imagined. They will love me for being the kind of man who dreams mighty dreams. I shall leave my mark upon the world. Centuries after I am gone, the world will talk of me as an unbelievable phenomenon. They will scarcely believe that I once was alive… so alive that I actually did something so mundane as drink a cup of hot tea. I shall dwell in the annals of history as the greatest legend of the human race. If the world is to be destroyed in 2012, future researchers shall only find traces of my deeds where ever they go. Even they will know that there was a golden era upon earth, because I walked the earth then. They will know that the earth was blessed once. They will know what heaven was..!

**Now that I have told all you idiots how it is to be… go ye… and make my dream come true. Leave no stone unturned and let no moment pass when you have not toiled earnestly. While you burn the midnight oil until the first flush of dawn  I will ‘lay my head on my pillow at night happily exhausted, knowing that I have done everything within my power to move the mountains in my path’. Wake me up when the job is done. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…. {Do not… I repeat NOT… laugh. This has been true too bl**dy often… and too close to home.} x-( **]

I know that the purpose of analysis is to come to a conclusion. I have tested the angles. I have measured the probabilities. And now I have made a decision with my heart. I am not timid. I will move now and not look back. What I put off until tomorrow, I will put off until the next day as well. I do not procrastinate. All my problems become smaller when I confront them. If I touch a thistle with caution, it will prick me, but if I grasp it boldly, its spines crumble into dust.

[What you are about to read now is a description of someone I knew once upon a time. No no… not you. It was someone else. I hope you will believe me when I say that this ‘human’ being is a flesh and blood creature… and still exist (read infests) a part of the world. No, I won’t tell you which. I only hope you trip over him some day and he scares a couple of decades of growth out of you…! Another thing. Don’t think I am being harsh or that I am exaggerating. I am NOT. I am being gentle and benevolent. Honest.

For the person I am talking of, each sentence of the above paragraph would read thus:

  1. Analysis…? What’s that… something like paralysis maybe…?
  2. There are no angles.
  3. What are probabilities…?
  4. I think I know what to do… though… I might change my mind later. (this is said in a tone of warning)
  5. Oh God…! What’ll I do…? (nails chewed until the bones of the last knuckle gleam with a dull sheen)
  6. I think I’ve made a mistake… I want to go back to my mommy. Waahhhhhhh….
  7. I will put off. Period.
  8. I don’t procrastinate. I just decide to do it later.
  9. There is nothing small about my problems. You have no idea how big they are… you are too naive to realize their magnitude… so go away and make a sand pile in the yard, won’t you..?
  10. Thistle…? Are you MAD…? I am not touching the beastly thing even with my stick…!

**No exaggeration there as I said before… honest. 😐 **]

I will not wait. I am passionate about my vision for the future. My course has been charted. My destiny is assured.

I have a decided heart.

The Traveler’s Gift- Decision Four