Jinxed

      27 Comments on Jinxed

J

The dictionary defines Jinxed as: bring bad luck to; cast an evil spell on.

Yes, there are plenty of Jinxed folk out there. I don’t mean that superstitiously. There is nothing paranormal about these folks. They are mundane and ordinary as you are.

Don’t destroy yourself by allowing negative people add gibberish and debris to your character, reputation, and aspirations. Keep all dreams alive but discreet, so that those with unhealthy tongues won’t have any other option than to infest themselves with their own diseases.

~Michael Bassey Johnson

Unfortunately for you, they don’t wear horns on their head nor sport loud clothing for easy identification. They look human, they talk human and walk human- they even laugh human, dammit! You know what they say about ducks, right? Ducks and humans are identical in that sense.

How, then, is one to identify these Jinxed beings?

I have the process down pat. I’ve already applied for a copyright on the process but while it comes through, I don’t mind giving it away to you for free. One day (soon) people will need to sell off their house to pay for the honor of being privy to the secret but that’s their problem. To you, as I said, I offer it free.

Make a list of all the people you interact with. A good rule is to bung everyone in. I mean, everyone whose name/ face/ dog/ cat/ donkey you are familiar with. That would include pretty much everyone with a body temperature of around 98.4 degree F. Yes, it will make your list the size of a house but that’s alright. You only have to do this once so don’t stint on this step.

Toxic people will pollute everything around them. Don’t hesitate. Fumigate.

~ Mandy Hale

Once you’ve got the list, recall the interaction you’ve had with this homosapien in the past. On the basis of that interaction, categorize them. Yes, you’ll have to rewrite the whole list again, but that’s alright. You only need to do it once and you aren’t frightfully busy anyhow, are you sunshine?

Now for the categorization criterion. Listen up closely because this is complicated. This is what the copyright is for, incidentally. Categorize people depending on how soon their negativity begins to affect you. Remember Dementors who sucked out people’s happiness by their very presence? These Jinxed folk are the dementors on your list.

They whine constantly as if they were being paid for it. They haven’t a good word to say about a person, place, animal or thing. They seemed to have been raised on the tartest vinegar instead of mother’s milk. Listening to them is more painful (you are sure) than a molten lava shower.

You might have 10minute people who suck out all your happiness in 10 minutes, or you may have 2 hour people who do the job in 2 hours. I am sure you get the drift.

Once you’ve categorized everyone thus, rewrite each list on a separate 3×5 index card. Use multiple cards if you need to but please clip them up together.

Now make a rule to get away from these folks before they manage to suck out your happiness. If it is 10 minute person, get away from them within 8 minutes- while you still have some steam left in you to sprint. In case of a 2hour person, you may relax and get to your bunioned and calloused feet in around and hour and a half and amble away- after bopping them genially on the head with a handy chair. You don’t want them dragging along, hanging to you like a limpet, do you?

7 things negative people will do to you. They will…
1. Demean your value;
2. Destroy your image
3. Drive you crazy!
4. Dispose your dreams!
5. Discredit your imagination!
6. Deframe your abilities and
7. Disbelieve your opinions!
Stay away from negative people!

~ Israelmore Ayivor

That completes the process except for the most vital thing. I shall squash the urge to tell you that the last, most vital step will be revealed only after you remit a six figure non- tax- deductible donation to my bank account. No, it wasn’t easy. The effort has left me pale and trembling, but what do you care?

The last step, therefore, is: Eternal Vigilance!

Don’t become careless and keep hanging around a Jinxed humanoid. It would surely be the last mistake you will make. What will be left of you after one of these dementors have had their way with you will not be enough to justify the trouble (and cost) of burying/ cremating you. The only thing you’ll be good for is to wave a languid hand in farewell to your poor North Star as you gasp out your last breath.

The Jinxed will then dance over your remains with hob- nailed boots, drinking and making merry while they hunt up a new victim.

It’ll serve you jolly well right!

You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people.

~ Joel Osteen

27 thoughts on “Jinxed

  1. Rajlakshmi

    I am very lucky to have been surrounded by happy and well meaning people. Maybe because I have always avoided negative people 🙂 Loved reading your views

    Reply
  2. iwrotethose

    Appreciate that you may not have meant for this to humorous, but I couldn’t help giggling. Especially post our conversation yesterday. Nicely done, as usual might I add !

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      I wasn’t trying to be humorous… but the way it turned out, I know it sounds funny. 😀

      Thank you!

      Reply
  3. Shailee Shukla

    I am proud to say that I constantly prune my list of people. Negative ones go out of the window every quarter 😉

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      Smile prettily and say you’ve just remembered you must reply to a mail…. or walk your dog… or clean out your closet… or something. And waltz away.

      And please, don’t worry too much about hurting their feelings. They don’t know your excuse isn’t genuine. Moreover, you can still love them- from a distance safe enough for you to be out of their earshot. 😀

      Reply
  4. Beloo Mehra

    In a thoroughly enjoyable and humorous way you have addressed a very serious issue, actually. It is really important to do this kind of an exercise for our own sanity and peace of mind. Especially if you are not so much of a social person to begin with. Imagine how badly you could be effected by that negativity on those few occasions when you do take the trouble to socialize 🙂
    Well, Dagny for your bank account’s sake I do hope that the copyright comes to you soon…because the process you have arrived at is really going be in high demand very soon… 🙂

    Beauty Interprets, Expresses, Manifests the Eternal

    Reply
  5. Suzy

    Unfortunately there are some you simply cannot fumigate completely. But we can choose to not let them affect us. But where we can fumigate – that is a good option.

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      You too have caught on to the word ‘Fumigate’. For me fumigate is the first option… frees you up from a lot of hassles. 😀

      Reply
  6. afshan18

    I LOVED This yet again. Is it so easy to keep jinxes / negative ppl away ? I keep trying– Mention of dementors reminded me my own JK rowling post for today 🙂
    I loved the way u compared them to dementors. Thanks fr all these tips. Need them for more positivity

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      It is actually very easy to keep negative people at bay. Specially when you remind yourself that you are not doing this to hurt them but to stop them from scrambling your brain. Self- preservation… not injury. 😀

      Reply
  7. spunkybong

    What about the ‘dementor’ who wishes to change and therefore want to be with a happy person? I have met a few and they have seemed different to me after a while.

    I also know people who don’t make me happy at all, constantly bitching about things, never having anything nice to say about anything but they have turned out to be solid gold, folk I can rely on, in a crunch. I wouldn’t want to get away from them.

    Your piece, though an interesting read indeed, does seem extremely one-sided. I have found that absolutely no one can ‘suck out’ my own happiness the way you describe it, except me. One should stop looking for perfection in others. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Dagny Post author

      I am sure you have a different world view from mine Achyut. Just as you would form an opinion depending on your experiences, so have I.

      Thank you. 🙂

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge